So I read this book five or six
years ago and could not put it down. There is so much emotion and so many
things to relate too that it was one of those books that your sad when its done
and think about it all week. Shortly after I found out there was talk of a
movie and I of course was so excited. It took a long time but the movie finally
came out and Tim took me to see it last night. He had never heard of it and
wanted to see some cop movie so of course he was skeptical.
It was the best movie adaption I
have seen in a long time. The difficult scenes were done very tastefully. The
cast was selected perfectly. People laughed and they cried. There are some
pretty heavy topics such as, depression, suicide, trauma, with comedy inserted
at just the right moments. I looked over at Tim halfway through the movie and
he was leaning forward in his seat paying very close attention. It ended
everyone clapped and my heart smiled cause I had the same feeling I remember
having when I finished reading the book.
Now this blog is not all about a
movie review. I went home after and pulled the book off my book shelf and
decided I was going to read it again. I flipped through the book and noticed
that I had highlighted two things in the book, just two in the whole book. I
started to think back to when I read it and what I was going through and what
was in my head at the moment that I decided that I wanted to remember these two
quotes. I couldn’t remember exactly, but I do remember that I had just gotten
out of treatment for the second time and was feeling really hopeful about the
future (I really cherish these moments because they don’t always last that
long).
I then started thinking about what
they meant to me now. The first one says, “I think the idea is that every
person has to live for his or her own life and then make the choice to share it
with other people.” I had I couple thoughts when I read this again. I spent a
lot of my life putting my hope and everything else in other people because I was
so insecure with myself. If I do this or that this person will love me, this
person will want to hang out with me. When I got out of treatment the second
time I felt much stronger and decided that before I dated anyone I wanted to be
secure being alone. I wanted to get to know myself and who I am. I wanted to be
all that I am and find someone who loved all of it instead of me trying to
conform into what that person wants me to be. Long story short I did that, and
found Tim and we lived happily ever after. Second it makes me think about
sharing my life with all of you. Honestly this is so therapeutic for me that I
would do this even if no one read it, but even if just one person did and
related to it I would feel pretty content.
The second quote was “So, I guess
we are who we are for a lot of reasons. And maybe we will never know most of
them. But even if we don’t have the power to change where we come from, we can
still choose where we go from there. We can still do things. And we can try to
feel ok about them.” This really encourages me to stay unstuck! To learn from
where I have been but not let it define me. To use the hard for good and to
find hope. That’s all I really want for everyone I guess. Don’t let your past
define you. Its never too late to live the life you’ve always wanted ♥
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